HALIFAX NS- Halifax will head to Centre Henry-Leonard in Baie-Comeau with a 2-0 series lead over the Baie-Comeau Drakkar.
The first two games of this series, held in front of a packed Scotiabank Centre saw all of the intensity that fans would expect from this rivalry. Baie-Comeau showed Halifax that they can stick with them despite entering the series as the 13th seed. Game one saw the Drakkar open the scoring on a goal by Xavier Bouchard before Halifax countered with three unanswered goals on route to a 5-2 victory.
The Three Stars of game 1 were:
1.) Max Fortier- 2 goals
2.) Alexis Gravel- 36 saves
3.) Xavier Parent- 1 goal, 1 assist
Game 2 saw Baie-Comeau playing with a hint of desperation as they tried to even up the series at 1-1 heading back home. Despite tying the game at 3 in the third thanks to Ivan Chekovich's second goal of these young playoffs, BO Groulx scored the game winning goal past Francis Leclerc, before Xavier Parent sealed the 5-3 Mooseheads victory
The Three Stars of game 2 were:
1.) Joel Bishop- 1 goal, 2 assists
2.) Filip Zadina- 1 goal, 1 assist
3.) BO Groulx- 1 goal
Positive takeaways from this series are that rookies Xavier Parent (2 goals 1 assist) and Justin Barron (1 assist) have looked great as has captain Max Fortier, and goaltender Alex Gravel seems to have returned to his playoff form making some stellar saves and posting a 2-0 record with a 2.83 goals against average and a save percentage of 0.924 percent.
The Mooseheads will look to take a 3-0 series stranglehold in front of a hostile crowd of Drakkar faithful at Centre Henry Leonard at 8:30 AT tomorrow, with game 4 going on Wednesday night at 8:30. If necessary game 5, will be played on Friday. Go Moose Go!
Monday, 26 March 2018
Sunday, 18 March 2018
2018 QMJHLPLAYOFFS- First Round Predictions
Hello Everyone, I have been away from this blog for sometime now but I am bringing it back in time for the 2018 Quebec Major Junior Hockey League Playoffs. The quest for the President Cup is set to begin tonight. Here are my predictions for the first round:
Blainville Boisbriand Armada (1) vs. Val D'or Foreurs (16)- BLB in four games.
The powerhouse Armada will prove to much for the Val D'or Foreurs who have been struggling this season after many competitive years.
Acadie-Bathurst Titan (2) vs. Chicoutimi Sagueneens (16)- AB in four games.
The Titan enter the playoffs as the Maritimes Division champions and have been on a roll lately. It will prove to be too much for the rebuilding Sags.
Rimouski Oceanic (3) vs. Moncton Wildcats (14)- RIM in six games.
The Moncton Wildcats could come out on top of this one in the first potential upset of the postseason but in my opinion they will scare the Oceanic but not come out the winner of the series.
Halifax Mooseheads (4) vs. Baie-Comeau Drakkar (13)- HFX in six games.
This will obviously be a series I pay the most attention to. Mooseheads captain Maxime Fortier will start his final post-season run in almost Hollywood fashion squaring off against his younger brother Gabriel. Goaltending and defence are big question marks on either side of this series. The Drakkar will have fourth year netminder Francis Leclerc in net. While the Mooseheads will counter with second year tender Alex Gravel. The two goalies do not have much playoff experience with Leclerc appearing in five games over two post-seasons with the Blainville Boisbriand Armada, and Gravel appearing in a 6 game defeat to the Rouyn-Noranda Huskies in 2017. Neither goalie has had a stellar season, but Gravel has been the hotter goalie down the stretch. The offense of Filip Zadina, Raphael Lavoie, and Maxime Fortier will need to be top notch and the Mooseheads must be undisciplined to advance.
Drummondville Voltigeurs (5) vs. Cape Breton Screaming Eagles (12) DRU in five games.
Dominique Ducharme has had the Voltigeurs playing some inspired hockey this season. I expect that to continue in a clash with the Eagles.
Victoriaville Tigres (6) vs Gatineau Olympiques (11)- VIC in five games.
The Tigres have been the hottest team in the league in the last month of the season. Admittedly, Gatineau is a higher seed than I expected but I see the Tigres having no problem getting past them.
Rouyn-Noranda Huskies (7) vs Sherbrooke Phoenix (10)- SHE in six.
In an upset, the Phoenix will skate by the Huskies.
Quebec Remparts (8) vs Charlottetown Islanders (9)-CHA in seven.
The QMJHL Cinderella story has been that of the 2017-2018 Charlottetown Islanders. Jim Hulton has had the team playing a hard-working style and that work ethic will just be enough to get Charlottetown past the Remparts.
Blainville Boisbriand Armada (1) vs. Val D'or Foreurs (16)- BLB in four games.
The powerhouse Armada will prove to much for the Val D'or Foreurs who have been struggling this season after many competitive years.
Acadie-Bathurst Titan (2) vs. Chicoutimi Sagueneens (16)- AB in four games.
The Titan enter the playoffs as the Maritimes Division champions and have been on a roll lately. It will prove to be too much for the rebuilding Sags.
Rimouski Oceanic (3) vs. Moncton Wildcats (14)- RIM in six games.
The Moncton Wildcats could come out on top of this one in the first potential upset of the postseason but in my opinion they will scare the Oceanic but not come out the winner of the series.
Halifax Mooseheads (4) vs. Baie-Comeau Drakkar (13)- HFX in six games.
This will obviously be a series I pay the most attention to. Mooseheads captain Maxime Fortier will start his final post-season run in almost Hollywood fashion squaring off against his younger brother Gabriel. Goaltending and defence are big question marks on either side of this series. The Drakkar will have fourth year netminder Francis Leclerc in net. While the Mooseheads will counter with second year tender Alex Gravel. The two goalies do not have much playoff experience with Leclerc appearing in five games over two post-seasons with the Blainville Boisbriand Armada, and Gravel appearing in a 6 game defeat to the Rouyn-Noranda Huskies in 2017. Neither goalie has had a stellar season, but Gravel has been the hotter goalie down the stretch. The offense of Filip Zadina, Raphael Lavoie, and Maxime Fortier will need to be top notch and the Mooseheads must be undisciplined to advance.
Drummondville Voltigeurs (5) vs. Cape Breton Screaming Eagles (12) DRU in five games.
Dominique Ducharme has had the Voltigeurs playing some inspired hockey this season. I expect that to continue in a clash with the Eagles.
Victoriaville Tigres (6) vs Gatineau Olympiques (11)- VIC in five games.
The Tigres have been the hottest team in the league in the last month of the season. Admittedly, Gatineau is a higher seed than I expected but I see the Tigres having no problem getting past them.
Rouyn-Noranda Huskies (7) vs Sherbrooke Phoenix (10)- SHE in six.
In an upset, the Phoenix will skate by the Huskies.
Quebec Remparts (8) vs Charlottetown Islanders (9)-CHA in seven.
The QMJHL Cinderella story has been that of the 2017-2018 Charlottetown Islanders. Jim Hulton has had the team playing a hard-working style and that work ethic will just be enough to get Charlottetown past the Remparts.
Saturday, 12 September 2015
Islanders Down Moose in Shootout Thriller.
The Halifax Mooseheads almost spoiled the home opener for the Charlottetown Islanders. Veteran goalie Eric Brassard turned in a 36 save performance, but it wasn't enough to take down the victorious Islanders. Daryl MacCallum made 37 saves in what can best be described as a goaltending duel.
Oliver Cooper got the Eastlink Centre crowd rocking as he tallied Charlottetown's first regular season goal at 6:42 of the first period. At 15:14 Halifax Mooseheads rookie Ilya Putintsev answered on the Powerplay for the Moose roofing one top shelf over MacCallum. Some believe that Putintsev may have enjoyed his celebration of that goal a little too much--But who wouldn't celebrate their first career Quebec League goal. Filip Rydstrom would respond quickly for the Islanders, putting them up 2-1 after one frame.
At 6:30 of the second period it was Otto Somppi's turn to record his first career Q goal, Again on the Powerplay. Vince Watt would add another goal at 11:08 to give the Mooseheads a 3-2 lead heading into the final stanza.
In the third, the Islanders would waste no time tying this contest. Mitchell Balmas scored on the Powerplay at the 56 second mark. The teams would end regulation deadlocked at 3 goals a side.
From there it was on to the brand new 3-on-3 Overtime with the Islanders dominating most of the fast-paced play but Eric Brassard was up to the task stopping quite a few breakaways on his net.
In the shootout, MacCallum secured the victory for the Islanders, stopping Danny Moynihan, Otto Somppi, and Ilya Putintsev. Chris Chaddock scored the eventual game winner on the Islanders first shootout attempt.
The 3 stars for last night's contest were 3) Otto Somppi 2) Luc Deschenes 1) Darryl MacCallum.
Notes:
-Max Fortier had 3 assists for Halifax. Otto Somppi had a goal and 2 assists, and Ilya Putintsev had a goal and an assist.
-The Halifax Mooseheads were without Timo Meier (SJ) Cavan Fitzgerald (SJ) and Cody Donaghey (TOR) who are away attending NHL camps.
-The Mooseheads went 2/7 on the Power play.
The Halifax Mooseheads head to Harbour Station tonight to take on highly touted Saint John rookie Joe Veleno and the Sea Dogs. Puckdrop at 7 pm.
Oliver Cooper got the Eastlink Centre crowd rocking as he tallied Charlottetown's first regular season goal at 6:42 of the first period. At 15:14 Halifax Mooseheads rookie Ilya Putintsev answered on the Powerplay for the Moose roofing one top shelf over MacCallum. Some believe that Putintsev may have enjoyed his celebration of that goal a little too much--But who wouldn't celebrate their first career Quebec League goal. Filip Rydstrom would respond quickly for the Islanders, putting them up 2-1 after one frame.
At 6:30 of the second period it was Otto Somppi's turn to record his first career Q goal, Again on the Powerplay. Vince Watt would add another goal at 11:08 to give the Mooseheads a 3-2 lead heading into the final stanza.
In the third, the Islanders would waste no time tying this contest. Mitchell Balmas scored on the Powerplay at the 56 second mark. The teams would end regulation deadlocked at 3 goals a side.
From there it was on to the brand new 3-on-3 Overtime with the Islanders dominating most of the fast-paced play but Eric Brassard was up to the task stopping quite a few breakaways on his net.
In the shootout, MacCallum secured the victory for the Islanders, stopping Danny Moynihan, Otto Somppi, and Ilya Putintsev. Chris Chaddock scored the eventual game winner on the Islanders first shootout attempt.
The 3 stars for last night's contest were 3) Otto Somppi 2) Luc Deschenes 1) Darryl MacCallum.
Notes:
-Max Fortier had 3 assists for Halifax. Otto Somppi had a goal and 2 assists, and Ilya Putintsev had a goal and an assist.
-The Halifax Mooseheads were without Timo Meier (SJ) Cavan Fitzgerald (SJ) and Cody Donaghey (TOR) who are away attending NHL camps.
-The Mooseheads went 2/7 on the Power play.
The Halifax Mooseheads head to Harbour Station tonight to take on highly touted Saint John rookie Joe Veleno and the Sea Dogs. Puckdrop at 7 pm.
Thursday, 10 September 2015
Thursday Thoughts: Maritimes Division
Tonight, another QMJHL season begins in Rimouski as the Oceanic take on Shawinigan. Before the puck officially drops, I thought I'd make some predictions for the standings of the Maritimes division at the end of this season.
1. Cape Breton Screaming Eagles
The Eagles are poised to make a run for the top of the Maritimes division. Veteran netminder Alexandre Belanger was a solid pick-up for the team and I expect big seasons from both Maxim Lazerev and Evgeny Svechnikov. Loik Leveille will help out the blue line as well.
2. Charlottetown Islanders
The Islanders are stacked with veteran talent. With one of the best goalies in the league in Mason McDonald backstopping an attack up front led by Daniel Sprong and Filip Chlapik. I expect a deep run in the playoffs for Charlottetown.
3. Saint John Sea Dogs
The Sea Dogs really impressed me last season. They came out of nowhere and played very well last season. This year, they have the first player to ever be granted exceptional status in Joe Veleno. Add Luke Green and Jakub Zboril on defense and the Sea Dogs are poised to battle for the top of the Maritimes division.
4. Moncton Wildcats
Just because I have the Wildcats in fourth doesn't mean they couldn't surprise and finish higher. They have the Q point leader in Conor Garland, however the loss of Ivan Barbashev will be a big void for the Wildcats to fill.
5. Halifax Mooseheads
It's a rebuilding year for the Moose. A winless pre-season albeit it is pre-season was an indication this could be a tough year in Moose Country. Timo Meier and Danny Moynihan will lead the offensive front. Eric Brassard will be leaned on to make some huge saves with a younger D core in front of him. On offense for the rookies I think Ilya Putintsev and Otto Somppi will impress this season.
6, Acadie-Bathurst Titan
The Titan like the Mooseheads have several rookies up front and on defense. They're also in rebuild mode. These two standing positions could be interchangeable with the Mooseheads.
It will be an interesting season in the Maritimes Division this year.
The Halifax Mooseheads open up the 2015-2016 schedule tomorrow night at 7pm at Eastlink Centre vs the Charlottetown Islanders.
1. Cape Breton Screaming Eagles
The Eagles are poised to make a run for the top of the Maritimes division. Veteran netminder Alexandre Belanger was a solid pick-up for the team and I expect big seasons from both Maxim Lazerev and Evgeny Svechnikov. Loik Leveille will help out the blue line as well.
2. Charlottetown Islanders
The Islanders are stacked with veteran talent. With one of the best goalies in the league in Mason McDonald backstopping an attack up front led by Daniel Sprong and Filip Chlapik. I expect a deep run in the playoffs for Charlottetown.
3. Saint John Sea Dogs
The Sea Dogs really impressed me last season. They came out of nowhere and played very well last season. This year, they have the first player to ever be granted exceptional status in Joe Veleno. Add Luke Green and Jakub Zboril on defense and the Sea Dogs are poised to battle for the top of the Maritimes division.
4. Moncton Wildcats
Just because I have the Wildcats in fourth doesn't mean they couldn't surprise and finish higher. They have the Q point leader in Conor Garland, however the loss of Ivan Barbashev will be a big void for the Wildcats to fill.
5. Halifax Mooseheads
It's a rebuilding year for the Moose. A winless pre-season albeit it is pre-season was an indication this could be a tough year in Moose Country. Timo Meier and Danny Moynihan will lead the offensive front. Eric Brassard will be leaned on to make some huge saves with a younger D core in front of him. On offense for the rookies I think Ilya Putintsev and Otto Somppi will impress this season.
6, Acadie-Bathurst Titan
The Titan like the Mooseheads have several rookies up front and on defense. They're also in rebuild mode. These two standing positions could be interchangeable with the Mooseheads.
It will be an interesting season in the Maritimes Division this year.
The Halifax Mooseheads open up the 2015-2016 schedule tomorrow night at 7pm at Eastlink Centre vs the Charlottetown Islanders.
Friday, 28 August 2015
The Next Captain
With the Halifax Mooseheads finalizing their roster on Wednesday, all the debate as to who will stay and who will be cut can now be settled. Now that we know who will be on the roster, Cam Russell and company face yet another captaincy decision this season. Last season, Ryan Falkenham was named captain of the team, but unfortunately an ongoing hip issue has made Falkenham decide to leave the Mooseheads this season.
That leaves the captaincy vacant once again. I believe it is between 2 candidates this year. Let's get to it:
1. THE FRONT RUNNER- DANNY MOYNIHAN
The native of Windham, New Hampshire is entering his third season with the Halifax Mooseheads. He put up career high numbers in his sophomore season as a Moosehead, tallying 33 goals and 37 points for a total of 70 points in the regular season; and 9 goals and 11 assists for a total of 20 points this past post-season. Receiving captaincy would be a credit to Moynihan's numbers last season, also he will be expected to carry most of the offensive load with 6 rookies up front this season, he and Timo Meier will be looked on to provide the brunt of the offence.
That leaves the captaincy vacant once again. I believe it is between 2 candidates this year. Let's get to it:
1. THE FRONT RUNNER- DANNY MOYNIHAN
The native of Windham, New Hampshire is entering his third season with the Halifax Mooseheads. He put up career high numbers in his sophomore season as a Moosehead, tallying 33 goals and 37 points for a total of 70 points in the regular season; and 9 goals and 11 assists for a total of 20 points this past post-season. Receiving captaincy would be a credit to Moynihan's numbers last season, also he will be expected to carry most of the offensive load with 6 rookies up front this season, he and Timo Meier will be looked on to provide the brunt of the offence.
2.KELLY BENT
Kelly Bent is entering his 20-year old season. He is a Halifax native. In the past the Mooseheads have used an enforcer/agitator in the captaincy role in Trey Lewis. Bent tallied 2 goals and 9 assists for a total of 11 points in his first season as a Halifax Moosehead last season, More notably for Bent's play style he tallied 160 penalty minutes. In the playoffs Bent had 2 goals and 2 assists with a total of 26 Penalty minutes. I consider Bent an outside shot at being named captain, being a local guy, it may be possible that the Organization continues to go that route, as they had done with Ryan Falkenham last season.
Those are my two captaincy picks for the Halifax Mooseheads for the 2015-2016 season. Feel free to tweet your choices to @HerdwellHerald. The Halifax Mooseheads will face the Cape Breton Screaming Eagles back at the Halifax Forum on September 3rd looking for their first pre-season win in their final pre-season game. Puck drop is 7 p.m. The regular season starts 2 weeks from tonight in Charlottetown. Photo credits to the Halifax Mooseheads website, and Kelly Bent's twitter.
Thursday, 27 August 2015
Mooseheads Roster Finalized.
Yesterday, The Halifax Mooseheads finalized their 24-man roster for the upcoming season. The roster contains 2 rookies on defence and 6 on forward.Rookies are noted with an asterisk beside their name. The following will be your 2015-2016 Halifax Mooseheads:
|
Name
|
Position
|
Hometown
|
Height-Weight
|
Date of Birth
|
|
1-Eric Brassard
|
Goaltender
|
Longueil, QC
|
6’01” 188
|
1995-05-05
|
|
40-Kevin Resop
|
Goaltender
|
St. Petersburg, FL
|
6’03” 199
|
1997-04-03
|
|
2-Cooper Jones*
|
Defencemen
|
Bridgewater, MA
|
5’08” 164
|
1998-06-09
|
|
3-Walter Flower*
|
Defencemen
|
Lunenburg, NS
|
6’01” 163
|
1999-05-07
|
|
4- Dom Argento
|
Defencemen
|
Montreal, QC
|
6’03” 206
|
1998-02-02
|
|
5-Cavan Fitzgerald
|
Defencemen
|
Boston, MA
|
6’00” 191
|
1996-08-23
|
|
9-JS Taillefer
|
Defencemen
|
Les Coteaux, QC
|
6’00” 194
|
1997-02-25
|
|
11-Morgan Nauss
|
Defencemen
|
Hammonds Plains, NS
|
5’11” 187
|
1998-04-20
|
|
26-Taylor Ford
|
Defencemen
|
St-Lazare QC
|
6’01” 193
|
1997-05-14
|
|
81- Cody Donaghey
|
Defencemen
|
St. John’s, NL
|
6’01” 191
|
1996-05-10
|
|
12-Danny Moynihan
|
Forward
|
Windham, NH
|
6’00” 197
|
1995-12-08
|
|
16- Vince Watt
|
Forward
|
Pointe-Claire, QC
|
5’11” 203
|
1996-02-27
|
|
17-Brett Crossley
|
Forward
|
Cole Harbour, NS
|
5’11” 164
|
1998-01-03
|
|
21-Arnaud Durandeau*
|
Forward
|
Beaconsfield, QC
|
5’11” 177
|
1999-01-14
|
|
28-Dominik Blain-Dupuis*
|
Forward
|
Gatineau, QC
|
5’10” 178
|
1998-04-08
|
|
32-Andrew Shewfelt
|
Forward
|
Lake Loon, NS
|
5’10” 182
|
1996-06-01
|
|
34-Kelly Bent
|
Forward
|
Halifax, NS
|
6’00” 204
|
1995-02-02
|
|
41-Maxime Fortier
|
Forward
|
Lachine, QC
|
5’10” 176
|
1997-12-15
|
|
51-Barrett Dachyshyn*
|
Forward
|
Halifax, NS
|
6’02” 174
|
1998-10-05
|
|
53-Ilya Putintsev*
|
Forward
|
Moscow, Russia
|
5’07” 157
|
1998-01-08
|
|
61-Joel Bishop*
|
Forward
|
St John’s, NL
|
5’09” 179
|
1999-05-07
|
|
71- Connor Moynihan
|
Forward
|
Windham, NH
|
6’04” 214
|
1997-07-20
|
|
89-Otto Somppi*
|
Forward
|
Helsinki, Finland
|
6’01” 181
|
1998-01-12
|
|
96-Timo Meier
|
Forward
|
Herisau, Switzerland
|
6’01” 208
|
1996-10-08
|
Tuesday, 25 August 2015
A Word About Depression...
I'm going to preface this post by saying it has absolutely nothing to do with the hockey blog. This is just the easiest way for me to post about something that I really need to get off my chest and out there. It's the most personal that you'll ever see me get.
What I'm going to write about is anxiety and depression. The duo that can really knock you on your ass quickly.
As a child, Anxiety was always there. Always. I couldn't go into a primary classroom without having mom by my side for my whole first year. She'd leave I'd cry. I didn't shake that until the first grade. But all throughout my schooling career I'd obsess over the little things. There's not going to be enough seats for me on the bus was a big one. I'd stress about it all morning. Sometimes having to get a drive to school because I simply couldn't will myself to ride the bus.
That's really as far as I'm going to dive into my childhood. But transitions were always hard from me. going from grade 9 after being in a primary to grade 9 school to high school was a massive step for me to take. I didn't really start to feel depression until late grade 11 and then early grade 12. I'd lie in bed for weeks. I just couldn't get out. In that time I'd shut off my cell phone and cut off all communication with anyone and just stare at the ceiling and spend endless hours crying. It was brutal. In my senior year, my grandfather passed away. That set me into months of depression leading to my first time being on medication for it. I got through it though. I graduated high school with a heart containing his ashes in my pocket. He'll always be my driving force as I go through life.
Anyway, the real personal stuff comes now. After seeking some counselling, having to drop out of community college for the first time because I couldn't deal with the homework stress, or just the stress of being in a classroom in general; I turned to self-harm. I was enshrouded in darkness. In 2013 of all years. The years the Red Sox and Mooseheads each won championships. It should've been the happiest time of my life but I sat in an emergency room the night that the Mooseheads played the Memorial Cup Final. I don't know what had come over me but I wanted to end my life. I didn't think I could carry on without my grandfather. I wanted to jump off the 6th floor balcony. I was all but done.
That was when I turned to a knife and used it to scar up my arms. You can see pictures of the damage if you dug far back into my instagram posts. I'm not going to attach pictures here. I regret it now, as those are permanent scars and they won't just go away. But now I look at them and think of how far I've come since I hit what I call rock bottom.
As I sit here writing this, I'm still battling anxiety and I probably always will. I've sat on the phone with mental health crisis teams and they have helped me. I also sought private counselling that's helped me grow immensely into the man that I am today. After going through a few different sets of Medications I found one that worked, and when it ran out, I made the recent decision to not have it filled. It's not that medications don't help, it's that I finally felt like I had enough support to help me deal with everything.
The trip to Toronto was also great just because it showed I can do things I didn't think possible and I can conquer this illness and it will lead to better days. There's people that are genuinely happy that I'm still on this Earth. I didn't feel that as briefly as 2 years ago. I feel like I'm surrounded with love now. It's great.
That doesn't stop the anxiety though. As I write this today I had to tell my employer about why I had to be relieved early just Sunday night, and am missing work today. But the work site I was at needed to change and it has. I think things will start looking up from here and I'll be able to battle through the anxiety and soldier on.
To all of you who supported me thank you. To all those who need support don't be afraid to talk to anyone. Life is worth living. I learned that. You can too. Mental illness is something we all need to understand and stand in front of it and not let it swallow us. I like to look at it as a temporary sickness. We're not weak, we're not crazy, we're just having a rough time that will eventually pass. Maybe we just need to change something in our lives. Happiness can be found in any dark day. Just hold on.
I'm going to add the number for the Nova Scotia mobile mental health crisis team:
Tel: 902-429-8167
Toll Free: 1-888-429-8167Use it if you need to. They will help. Just remember things like suicide are a permanent "fix" to a temporary issue. Never feel alone. Never.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
What I'm going to write about is anxiety and depression. The duo that can really knock you on your ass quickly.
As a child, Anxiety was always there. Always. I couldn't go into a primary classroom without having mom by my side for my whole first year. She'd leave I'd cry. I didn't shake that until the first grade. But all throughout my schooling career I'd obsess over the little things. There's not going to be enough seats for me on the bus was a big one. I'd stress about it all morning. Sometimes having to get a drive to school because I simply couldn't will myself to ride the bus.
That's really as far as I'm going to dive into my childhood. But transitions were always hard from me. going from grade 9 after being in a primary to grade 9 school to high school was a massive step for me to take. I didn't really start to feel depression until late grade 11 and then early grade 12. I'd lie in bed for weeks. I just couldn't get out. In that time I'd shut off my cell phone and cut off all communication with anyone and just stare at the ceiling and spend endless hours crying. It was brutal. In my senior year, my grandfather passed away. That set me into months of depression leading to my first time being on medication for it. I got through it though. I graduated high school with a heart containing his ashes in my pocket. He'll always be my driving force as I go through life.
Anyway, the real personal stuff comes now. After seeking some counselling, having to drop out of community college for the first time because I couldn't deal with the homework stress, or just the stress of being in a classroom in general; I turned to self-harm. I was enshrouded in darkness. In 2013 of all years. The years the Red Sox and Mooseheads each won championships. It should've been the happiest time of my life but I sat in an emergency room the night that the Mooseheads played the Memorial Cup Final. I don't know what had come over me but I wanted to end my life. I didn't think I could carry on without my grandfather. I wanted to jump off the 6th floor balcony. I was all but done.
That was when I turned to a knife and used it to scar up my arms. You can see pictures of the damage if you dug far back into my instagram posts. I'm not going to attach pictures here. I regret it now, as those are permanent scars and they won't just go away. But now I look at them and think of how far I've come since I hit what I call rock bottom.
As I sit here writing this, I'm still battling anxiety and I probably always will. I've sat on the phone with mental health crisis teams and they have helped me. I also sought private counselling that's helped me grow immensely into the man that I am today. After going through a few different sets of Medications I found one that worked, and when it ran out, I made the recent decision to not have it filled. It's not that medications don't help, it's that I finally felt like I had enough support to help me deal with everything.
The trip to Toronto was also great just because it showed I can do things I didn't think possible and I can conquer this illness and it will lead to better days. There's people that are genuinely happy that I'm still on this Earth. I didn't feel that as briefly as 2 years ago. I feel like I'm surrounded with love now. It's great.
That doesn't stop the anxiety though. As I write this today I had to tell my employer about why I had to be relieved early just Sunday night, and am missing work today. But the work site I was at needed to change and it has. I think things will start looking up from here and I'll be able to battle through the anxiety and soldier on.
To all of you who supported me thank you. To all those who need support don't be afraid to talk to anyone. Life is worth living. I learned that. You can too. Mental illness is something we all need to understand and stand in front of it and not let it swallow us. I like to look at it as a temporary sickness. We're not weak, we're not crazy, we're just having a rough time that will eventually pass. Maybe we just need to change something in our lives. Happiness can be found in any dark day. Just hold on.
I'm going to add the number for the Nova Scotia mobile mental health crisis team:
Tel: 902-429-8167
Toll Free: 1-888-429-8167Use it if you need to. They will help. Just remember things like suicide are a permanent "fix" to a temporary issue. Never feel alone. Never.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
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